obamallamatime:

Hello, Police? I accidentally stepped on my cats foot and need to be arrested

(Source: obamallamatime)

macklemack:

50 shades of dark circles under my eyes

(Source: ratche-t)

toyota:

damn the pope about to preach some sick verses

  • obama: please stand for ur national anthem
  • *fall out boy suddenly emerges from the floor*
  • WHERE IS UR BOY TONIGHT

"Don’t ever compliment me by insulting other women. That’s not a compliment, it’s a competition none of us agreed to."

jaythenerdkid  (via sexual-feelings)

(Source: escapedgoat)

unclefather:

theskeetman:

if you have nothing good to say say it

i hate stuart little and i don;t think he deserved 3 movies

(Source: unit03)

foxxycleopatra:

"Call 1-800-steemer. Stanley Steemer gets carpets cleaner!"

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